The quality time love language is the most challenging one for me to fill! Words of affirmations are quick. Gifts are just an amazon click away. Physical touch, yep, let’s hug it out. Acts of service are trickier, but at least I’m doing something productive.
But the quality time love language is hard for me. It usually involves me doing something that seems pointless (to me) while my extra long to do list runs through my mind. But while those things seem pointless to me, (i.e. watching super hero movies, playing minecraft, having long discussions about Star Wars theories, and endless lego building sessions) they are incredibly important to my boys.
Here’s some common complaints I hear from entrepreneurs with regards to the quality time love language.
- I feel like I’m missing out on family stuff as I pursue business growth.
- I have a hard time plugging in with my family because I’m always thinking about business.
- My family is complaining about me never being available for them.
If you let those types of issues continue, it weakens relationships. I’ve seen too many entrepreneurs think they can put their relationships on the back burner while they build their businesses only to find that the relationships deteriorate while they aren’t paying attention.
So here’s 6 tips to help you fill the quality time love language while you are proactively growing your business.
- Plan Vacations and Day trips regularly. We try to do 3-4 vacations a year, and a day trip every quarter. It used to be once a month, but then our kids turned into teenagers with their own lives and now we do less! The vacations can be staycations. They don’t have to be fancy or expensive. It’s about the time more than the destination.
- Set work free hours when you will be unplugged and not engaging with your business. Your family needs undivided attention from you. They just don’t need it 24/7.
- Set expectations with your family. Communicate what you have going on and help them to understand when you will and won’t be available. I’ve found that my family do much better with my schedule when they know what to expect.
- Regular Date nights without devices. Just do it! Dates are cheaper than marriage counseling. Again they don’t have to be fancy. They just have to be a priority.
- Know who has this love language in your family and give them more quality time. It’s about quality not quantity. I have 5 kids and a husband. I can’t spend loads of quality time with each of them each day. And they don’t all need it. We need quality family time, and then there’s the individual time that certain ones need more than others.
- Tell them when you will spend quality time with them. I do this often especially with my little ones. When they ask for something from me, I tell them yes and when I will do it instead of telling them no. Sometimes that looks like this, “I would love to play legos. I’ll be able to do that at 4pm.” Sometimes it sounds like this, “It would be fun to go to the movies together. We have football games every weekend this month. So it might not happen until next month. But it’s a great idea. But here’s something else we can do this weekend…” Rejection is never fun. And when someone is asking for quality time from you, it’s a need not just a want. Find ways to give it to them that you can manage.
Want to dig deeper into these tips? Check out my Youtube video for the week on The Quality Time Love Language for entrepreneurs and busy professionals.
