Every transaction starts with a relationship. Who you know in business matters. In fact if you make a list of the top 5 things you need in business right now, every one of those resources or opportunities are just one key relationship away.
And while I’ve written in the past about, networking and creating strategic partnerships, today I am taking a very different turn. We’re going to talk about the three critical relationships that need to be in order, BEFORE you start seeing your wins from building your business network.
If I were to pull back the curtain in your life and look at your relationship with yourself, with your Higher Power, and with your spouse/partner what would I see? These are my 3 core relationships that fuel my success in business. When one of them is off, I experience a pull in my business. When my business is off, I feel a pull in one of those three relationships. Without fail, they are always connected.
I know we would love to think that we have this great ability to compartmentalize. And I know some of you are thinking, “But Amy, those 3 relationships are GREAT, and my business still sucks.” Or, “I’m rocking in business and my marriage is on the fritz.” Stay with me for a minute and don’t discount just yet.
Relationship with self: If you treated your spouse, your best friend, or your key team member like you treat yourself what would that look like? I’ve definitely gone through seasons where I probably should have broken up with myself. I fed myself junk and then criticized myself for being fluffy. I expected more from myself than I would EVER expect from anyone else and then got frustrated when I wasn’t a super human. And when I operate in those patterns here’s what happens. I get sick. Or I hit burnout. Both are detrimental to my business. Kind of hard to work when you speak for a living and have no voice! Kind of hard to be creative and produce great quality work for myself and my clients, when I feel little to no passion for what I’m doing. So today, instead of running myself ragged, I make taking care of me a high priority. What that looks like for me is sleep, having slow days after a busy event, clocking out at a reasonable time, not being on call 24/7 for clients, taking vacations, bubble baths, and learning to play the Ukulele just because I want to. For you that will look differently. But I guarantee, that if you struggle with self care, you are not hitting your peak potential in business.
Relationship with Higher Power: Everyone refers to their Higher Power differently. You might say, God, Universe, Higher Consciousness, Jesus, or anything else. I say Heavenly Father. I respect whatever words you use. It’s also important to note, that this isn’t necessarily connected to religion. I’ve met religious and non-religious folks who are very connected to their higher power and those that are very disconnected. However, when this relationship is in harmony, inspiration and innovation flourish. You feel grounded and calm as you take on new challenges. You experience a flow of people, relationships, resources and money coming your way. When you have a spiritual disconnect, business is harder. You feel like you are swimming up stream. You feel like you are forcing your way to a win. Successes are few and far between, and fleeting when they do arrive. If I look at my behind the scenes, I tend to do really well with this one when business is good. When challenges come, I have a bad habit of jumping right into work. I think “I just need to work hard for a few weeks and then I’ll pull out of it.” And in the process of working hard, sometimes I lose sight of my daily activities that fuel the connection. So I fall into struggling on my own, finally get fed up, and then make the effort to reconnect. And magically, in a few days, I’ve got the ideas I need to move out of the challenge. If you’ve been in this cycle, jump out! Straighten out this relationship. It’s a critical one.
Relationship with Spouse/Partner: How many times have you seen business stress cause you to disengage from your spouse? Have you been resentful and frustrated with your spouse and then realized you are actually resentful and frustrated with your BUSINESS? Or have you found yourself excelling and working hard in business because it was easier than working on your marriage? My husband and I are coming up on our 18th anniversary next month. We’ve had a few tough years, but mostly great ones. And I can tell you, it’s been a game changer having his support as I’ve grown this business. When I know that everything is good between us, it gives me permission to excel.
I spoke with a business owner recently who had put his 3 core relationships on the back burner for 15 years while he built his company. The whole time he told himself that he was working hard to provide a great life for his family. And now he finds himself in the midst of divorce, health problems, and experiencing his worst year in business. It all caught up to him and now he is paying a VERY heavy price for not focusing on these 3 core relationships.
So, pull back the curtain. Take a good look at your relationship with you, with your Higher Power, and with your spouse. How is it affecting your business? What can you do to improve?