IS YOUR FAMILY YOUR REASON OR YOUR EXCUSE?
I heard this phrase SOOOO many times when I was new in business. It still kind of makes my skin crawl. Every time I heard someone say, “Let your family be your reason to succeed, not your excuse not to,” I felt this mixture of pressure and guilt. Pressure to be at everything, pressure to never say no to a business opportunity, even when it wasn’t best for my family. And guilt that my family was the reason I didn’t do more.
I started my first business when I my oldest was about 5 months old. I was still adjusting to being a new mom. Then a couple years later I had my 2nd, who had colic and screamed for about the first year. Again it was a huge adjustment. Sooner than we planned baby number 3 was on the way. By that time I was running two businesses, sick, overwhelmed and exhausted. Fortunately I had figured out some key pieces to the puzzle by numbers 4 and 5. But every day I have been in business, I have had a family to work around!
My family was a big part of why I wanted to succeed in business. I wanted my kids to be able to go to whatever school they were smart enough to get in to. I wanted to travel with my kids to do humanitarian service in their summer vacations. I wanted my husband to be able to work doing what he loved. I wanted our family to make our choices based on what was best for us, not based on what we could afford. My family is very much my reason to succeed.
And at the same time, sometimes they are my reason to hold back. I love working, I love serving my clients. I love traveling. If I didn’t have 5 little ones, I could probably put in 10-12 hour days and LOVE it. I do have 5 little ones, and my time is limited. The difference between using them as an excuse and using them as a reason to do less are slight, but VERY important. I will succeed, no questions or doubts. I will succeed for them and I will succeed for me. Holding back, or doing less does NOT mean I won’t succeed. It does not mean I can avoid doing the work that scares me in the name of being a good mom.
What it means is that I will do the MOST productive things in the time that I have. It means I will get creative and figure out a way around EVERY obstacle. It means I will have nights where I go to bed without everything done because I needed to talk with or cuddle my kids. It means I will say no to opportunities I might really want to say yes to. And it means I will do hard things and sacrifice anything that is unimportant in my life in order to reach my goals. Success definitely comes at a price. I get that as parents, we worry that price might be too high. But let’s be honest, NOT reaching your goals also comes at a price. My price in the beginning was not having enough to cover our expenses, constant financial stress, feeling like a failure, and frustration at knowing I was meant to do big things and knowing it was my fault I wasn’t doing it. As I really got honest with myself, I realized I was willing to pay the price of success. I was NOT willing to pay the price of living below my potential.
I am not saying it is easy. But for me, it is worth it. The most challenging times in my business were when I was living below the line, or right at the line. I invite you to cross that threshold of greatness! Life on the other side is so much brighter!